Countdown.

Goodbye's are about as much fun as getting your arm amputated.

For as long as I can remember those two little words have been so difficult for me to say, let alone express with massive amounts of tears and despair, and yet it happens even more than before nowadays. Today two friends from work gave me the news of their departures, simultaneously next week, and I have to say, they both seem to have very grand and ambitious plans. Even so as they told me of their leaving, I had to suppress the urge to burst into tears, especially for my friend who I affectionately call Blondie. This year alone, I not only said goodbye to the guy that I love (who got promoted and left) but also to quite a few friends who it seems unlikely I'll run into again. As I grew up I hoped that maybe it was just a phase, that it would become easier with time to understand that not everyone will remain in your life, but it has not become any simpler. Still, I hope that wherever they go, they have the best of luck, especially Blondie and most especially Superman (as I call the dude I like.)

Hello & Goodbye: The choice to move on.
The importance of moving on comes to mind as quickly as it can the second I feel things changing. It is very important to understand that when something changes, whether it's a dynamic of life, an every day thing or something small, it's still important to know it's ok to be sad that it ends, that it's definitely ok to feel sad for a little since we all have different ways to deal with losing something. But that it's also just as ok to let ourselves move on, that it doesn't make it anything less just because we feel it's something small, or we might feel dumb for feeling it in the first place. Yes, your favorite restaurant might have closed so you won't get to eat that special dish that only they knew how to make to make your taste buds dance, and yes it's extremely painful for you to still be sad after the death of your favorite uncle or aunt, your father, your mother, a sibling, your pet. These are all losses that, though varying in degrees of importance to society, are all of different importance in our hearts. And so when the end of an era so to say comes, it's okay to let ourselves be sad. The important thing is to remember that while it was here, it meant alot, and the memories will also mean alot, but it's time for something else to take it's place.

I hope that some day I'll be able to wish someone a proper Goodbye, with a genuine smile with no despair.

Here's a few things that are in order:
-Must still give my counselor a call............ Fall semester will start basically in the blink of an eye and I'm gonna fuck up if I don't start things early....
-I JUST GOT PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDD but half of my money is going to pay my credit card/phone/bills T____T
-I got my bottle, my ladder, my rings, and all I'm missing are my queen ring and my non slip yoga socks. Then I will order more crap because I'm addicted now :(
-I plan to make spring rolls and Miso soup this week. I'm super excited cuz I love spring rolls.
-I've basically eaten an entire birthday cake on my own and that is NOT good. UGH.
-I  REALLY ALSO NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF EARPHONES/HEADPHONES BUT I REFUSE TO GIVE APPLE MORE MONEY AND BUY BEATS >:( No. No no no no....
-help me I'm very sad because I can't take any days off work so A. I'm gonna miss AX this year, and B. I CAN'T GO SEE DEAN. I love Dean. :CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

I should sleep. But I'm not gonna probably so I'm going to go look at things I can't afford and maybe buy a few. My money management skills are deteriorating day by day. Yay...........

Toodles.