Tired.

Lately, I've been waking up with less energy than usual. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's all the junkfood I've been having in the past weeks. Maybe it's the undeniable presence of heartbreak I still feel over that one stupid jerk (he's not stupid, I'm just bitter) that I haven't forgotten even though it's been weeks.

Still today, I was in a good mood for a while. I realized that I allow myself to be over taken and poisoned by a single thought and then desperately try to break free from it trying to use positive self assurance that in the end only leaves me frustrated and annoyed at myself for caring about someone/something/some situation that never cared/mattered as much as I want to make it seem.

So I did the only productive thing I could and went out and bought some books.

Now, I haven't read anything, and I mean anything, since I bought Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" (which consequently is amazing, and I loved it) so I'm excited to read these two. I've always heard great things about Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" so I just dived right in and went for it. "Howl's moving castle" has beenn in my list since I watched the animated movie but we all know a book always ends up so much better in your brain.

Here's today's inspirational quote, another great one by Audri and Jim Lanfords newsletter:

"Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." 

- George Bernard Shaw

It's a hard lesson to learn to let go of things that have already happened, especially things that are painful. Recently, I also have been reading a book which I won in a contest (a U-KISS related contest none-the less. These boys do nothing but give to me, which is why I adore them) and I have got to say I don't regret reading it. Those who know me know I'm not particularly religious, as in I don't consider myself anything, not even atheist, so the fact that the book is about Angel's and an Angel medium wasn't something I was expecting to enjoy at all. I did. I may not take it as seriously as it's intended to be taken, but the message of the book is well received and welcomed. Enough so now I feel like I want to genuinely believe that there's a celestial creature out there who will walk with me in every path I take in life, regardless of how mehhh or blahhhh or OoooOOohh it is. 

For now, I'll just try and take things one day at a time. 

Random things that happened today: 

• Had a terrible bento box. Chika told me for some reason Japanese food restaurants make these bentos way too salty. I just always assumed it was supposed to be that salty..... 
• It rained! IT. RAINED. Well it didn't rain as much as other places. But It rained and that's all that matters. 
• OTL I JUST got paid but I'm already down to my last $100 bucks OTL.... how in the hell is my money gone already? Bills, bills, bunnyfood, bills, and, wait for it, w a i t  f o r  i t . . . .  BILLS. 
• Also to the point above, I probably shouldn't have spent so much money on all the crap I've been buying OTL 
• Heart break may be terrible but it's still better than feeling yourself suddenly being re-interested on someone who you were interested in but weren't anymore for a while...... Oh no. I'm gonna have to pass on this situation. 
• I have three phone cases and I realized today that though I love my hamburger case, it is ridiculously bulky and I don't know what to do about it jfdks;jfask;dfsldjfsajlJFL;DS 
• Exercising is out of the question this week again due to my fatigue but by fuck it I'm gonna make a better effort at that when the weather clears up. 
• Did I mention it rained? Cause it did. 

Time to finish up todays list and hit the hay. 

Toodles.